Social Media can be the greatest and worst things at the same time for your self-esteem. I know there are times when I can scroll through my feed and feel so inspired by content and then there are times when I look at certain accounts and have the thoughts of “I wish” or “If only”. The thought of comparison is tough not to do honestly. However, there has to be a shift to overcome the thoughts of comparison and inadequacies.
Galatians 6:4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.
You first have to remember that only God has called you to a custom designed journey that is crafted for only you. I wanted to share how I overcome comparing myself to others. It has been on my heart to share this, because I just feel so many people get distracted with following their own journey because they are wanting someone elses. By comparing you are robbing yourself of a journey that could be so much bigger!
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Becoming Aware – The first step is recognizing that you are comparing yourself to others. I had to wake up and realize what I was doing, and how it was affecting my self-esteem.
Celebrate Others Accomplishments – As you scroll through your feed and see another person winning, sometimes we can naturally tie it to our perception of losing or not doing enough. Stop. What does someone else wins have anything to do with your own journey? This is a serious question I had to really think about. Someone else getting that brand feature or getting that job opportunity is completely separate from what is going on in your life. Someone else’s wins does not measure your life’s success. When you see someone winning simply give kudos and don’t give that the power of evaluating your successes in life.
Trust your journey – Do you ever get excited about what God has next for you? I definitely do, and it has given me the security to be happy with my own life. Now what if God has a tough season full of some rejections and No’s? Be okay with that. I know that when God puts me in hard seasons it is for a purpose. Whether I need to learn or change. Your tough season is the set up for something better.
Example….When we were in Michigan barely getting by, making poor financial decisions, I felt like I couldn’t even see to the other side. Yet, I found comfort in the fact that I know this tough season would not last forever. Now here we are years later thriving and doing financially better than I could have ever imagined. Not just because things are abundant, but because through those hard seasons we learned how to make better financial decisions. Don’t rush the journey, and know that one tough season doesn’t define you.
Purge – If you cannot shake the feeling of being inadequate due to comparison, simply rid yourself of the things that are making you feel this way. Why follow accounts that make you feel this way? To be honest I can count on my hand the amount of celebrity accounts I follow. I feel like it is so different from my life that I don’t want to fall victim to comparison.
Example…my baby snapback will look a lot different from Ciara’s. This is personal preference, but just ask yourself are some accounts making it hard for you to feel the best version of yourself? If the answer is yes, maybe you should unfollow. If this is still not helping, maybe you should take a break from social media. And come back restored and rejuvenated.
Everyone has Their Own Mess – Y’all everyone has their own heap of issues. That’s a fact. Everyone has a story. So when you are comparing yourself to others remember that behind that photo there is so much more. I only want to live the life God has giving me, because I know God has equipped me to handle that mess I have been faced with in my marriage, parenting, family, and work. I can’t imagine someone else’s. Find comfort in the fact that everyone has a story, and problems.
Be Unique – This past year I really got secure in my purpose and what God has called me to do. With that, it has helped me overcome comparison. If I am over here desiring to live someone else’s life, then I am not walking in my purpose and what God has called me to do. Be unique, and don’t try to emulate someone else’s calling because that just means you are not walking in your own purpose.
Have Accountability Partners – I live by this…we have accountability couples to keep us in check, and I have them just with my own personal life. It’s important to have someone to give you constructive criticism but also to give you kudos on the things that you are excelling in. Part of comparison stems from you feeling you need to be doing something different than what you are currently doing. However, if you have an accountability partner that gives you this feedback, that helps minimize the need to compare yourself.
Take Action – Partly why you compare yourself is because you see someone else living the life you would like to have. Let’s be honest for a second. Years ago I used to see people getting the house of their dreams while I was living in an apartment. I finally got real with myself and said people owning a house is not something I could not attain. I just had to put a game plan together to make it happen. Are there areas in your life that you can improve upon? Make a plan on how you can achieve, rather than wishing and hoping you can do it.
Love Yourself – I am far from perfect. I make mistakes. There are major areas of weakness I am working through. And that’s ok. I no longer strive for perfection, because it doesn’t truly exist. I love the progress I have made and the steps I continue to make. Be in love with who you are even if you aren’t where you think you should be.
While it’s great to see others winning, use this as a motivator to help you in the areas that need to be improved in your life. Remember that it is never too late to change an area in your life that you are unhappy with.
Be excited about your own life, because your journey is worth being excited about!
What are some ways you use to stop comparing yourself to others?