Marriage and really any relationship goes through many seasons.  And with each transition there will be some seasons that are better than others.  However, even in those tough seasons we never allow it to shake our foundation. We also make sure that we don’t ever stay in one season too long.

I know that everything has been all about Valentine’s Day and love, but I also recognize that for some couples the holiday may not bring excitement and affection.  We have been there before where you know you should be celebrating love, but really are half speaking and I’m giving him the side-eye. While we are in a great place now, I never want to come off as our relationship is perfect and that we don’t have struggles.  We do! It’s just now we know healthy ways to overcome them.

If that is currently the state of your relationship OR you have been there before I want to share simple ways that can help aid getting through it.


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      Tips to Improve Your Relationship In A Tough Season


Before I dive into ways to help get through those tough patches, let me also say.  If that tough season has been going on where it is out waying the good seasons. Consider counseling this did wonders for our marriage early on when we were having difficulty with communication.
  • Praise them – Our first reaction in the tough seasons is to fuss about what your partner is doing incorrectly, or that is working your nerves.  I challenge you to do the opposite. Any time your mouth is ready to blast him, praise him. Not that you should be dogging your partner anyway to someone else, but instead share something that he is doing well. We all have our issues, and your fussing and nagging will not fix that.  So leave it to God and praise him until that happens.
  • Add Date Nights – You would be surprised with how a fun date night can uplift your spirits.  I know sometimes our conflicts can stem from just being so head down in our family operations and work.  So think back to when was the last date night….if it’s been a while, plan a date! It a great way to reconnect and remember why you are with that person.
  • Deal with the problems head on – We used to sometimes avoid problems because we didn’t want to argue.  However, in turned it ended with us staying in that tough season longer than we should. Now, if there is something that is affecting our marriage we address it head on.  No one has time or energy to be harboring bad feelings that will later turn into resentment.  Rick and I are open with one another and share when we have a problem.  I also stopped making my husband go through hoops to figure out what was wrong with me.  Lastly, whenever we discuss hard topics we come from a place of owning our issues first rather than placing blame. We will sometimes go for a walk to talk things through. Again, if communication is an issue, talk through it with your accountability couple.  And if you still can work through it don’t be afraid to chat with a counselor.

  • Know when to let it go – I have been told that I can be stubborn at times (although I don’t know if I fully agree with that statement LOL) Sometimes if you haven’t been able to come out of that tough patch ask yourself why are you still even beefed out? Not gonna lie there has been times when I had to check myself.  Sometimes it’s simply making the choice to be happy in your relationship or to not argue. While I know this is not the case for all arguments I know making this choice has solved several!
  • Spice it up – Y’all we are we have been with each other for over a decade, we got 3 kids, house, and jobs. It gets rough out here in the bedroom department. Most nights we crash on the couch trying to watch a movie together on the couch. LOL.  We can’t let the hustle and bustle of our lives leave that area neglected, so we are intentional. And you should be too!
  • Grow Together Spiritually – One of our goals this year was to study the bible together more.  At one of our church’s couple event a speaker asked do you ever pray with your spouse? And after assessing that I realized there was so much more spiritually we could be doing together.


I know this may seem easier said than done especially when you are really in a tough patch.  But it really just takes one choice of positivity to help turn things around.  Even if you aren’t in the best season find a way to celebrate each other.

ALSO, don’t forget that we just launched our Newton Family Vlog! We are starting to share our daily life with you, and we want you to be part of the journey! Click here to watch our latest videos, and don’t forget to subscribe.

What are some tips that have help you improve your relationship through tough times?

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