I have now been a boy mom for almost 12 years, which is kinda of crazy. Never in a million years thought I would be the only girl in the family. After we found out the gender of Cyrus I laughed to keep from crying. I laughed at all the things I would have to face raising boys. Ya know, pee around the toilet, passing gas and thinking it’s funny.
Nevertheless, I trusted this was the plan God had for me and I was not about to question it. Even if I don’t fully understand now why I have all boys, I am sure I will find out at some point. My boys are a blessing and they love their mama!
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No matter how many years you have been a boy mom or if you are not a boy mom but just wondering about the life of a boy mom. I wanted to share some advice to help my fellow boy moms. I have boys in 3 different age ranges Pre-teen, Young Kid, and baby/toddler. With that, it forces me to have to switch gears when parenting, to be able to parent each child effectively.
Know When To Stop Talking
You know that moment when you see your husband start to check out of a conversation? Well.. imagine a young boy and how quickly they check out. It’s tough because I am long winded. However, I have learned that if I want to get my point across and to be effective I have to be short and sweet. Boys simply do not stay engaged long. Quick Tip: Another thing we really are working on Cameron with is to speak with purpose and confidence. Cam used to want to look at the ground when talking. We stress regularly about having confidence when having dialogue. If this is a struggle of yours try having a critical conversations with your son daily. This has taught Cam to be comfortable to have dialogue despite the top.
Boys are Gross
That is just the reality. My boys want to talk about farts, poop, and everything else gross. One thing that has been nice is Calvin’s teacher taught the class to say “No Potty Talk”. Whenever anything potty related is talked about Calvin says “No Potty Talk”. We actually stuck with this in our home. At first as a joke, but we like it now. While boys are gross they need to understand boundaries. There is a time and place for everything and they must still be gentlemen. I will not have grown men that don’t know how to carry themselves in public! So we stress following boundaries.
Give them love
Well of course every parent gives love, and don’t stop. Boys need it! Cameron is going into puberty and pre-teen and I give him even more love. I see him trying to figure things out. And one thing I want him to always be sure about is that his mother loves him. I don’t want my boys to feel like they should not show emotions or affection. We are a loving, hugging, and kissing family and that will NEVER stop!
Boys need an outlet
Whenever my boys start acting mischievous or wrestling a ton. It is time to find an outlet. Boys have tons of energy and need to find an outlet. If you feel like your house is just out of control have them sit down and put together K’nex or go outside and play. You will thank me later!
Don’t allow them to find their identity solely as an athlete
While girls are athletes (and great ones). I sometimes feel that girls have it easier with knowing they are more than an athlete. I am thinking of myself when I was an athlete and my teammates. However, we are raising boys that love sports. While we introduced them to sports, they fell in love with it on their own. Cameron loves sports most importantly Football. It is not my favorite considering the undeniable safety concerns, but he loves it. What makes it so hard is he is pretty good at it! We started to find that Cameron would base his worth in a way based on a win/loss. We also found that most of his days were spent focusing on sports. It was negatively effecting his self-confidence. I was like pump brakes…let’s re-prioritize.
We had to help Cameron understand that we find our identity in Christ alone, and winning or losing should not dictate how you value yourself. Let’s back up, I was an athlete. I am extremely competitive, and I am try to push myself to the next challenge. Case and point…I decided I wanted to do a half marathon, because I didn’t feel that was enough I then decided to train for FULL marathon. I get it…I am not saying winning and losing is not important. You should see me on the sidelines at Cam’s games. LOL! However, I don’t even want my sons to feel they are solely an athlete. Because when that season ends I don’t ever want them to not know how to pick up and keep going.
Technology Lock down
This Fornite craze hit the Newton house hard! I would walk into our media room at 2am because I got up to get a drink of water, and there Cameron is doing a Battle Royale (if you don’t know what that term means consider yourself lucky.) I initially thought the idea of Fortnite was kinda fun. They get to play with his friends online, and it actually help Cam get a bit of rhythm with all the dances. If my boys aren’t on the Xbox then they are on Youtube watching kids play the games they already own. WTF?! We were like ENOUGH!
First, I am not going to let my boys be addicted to gaming on my watch! Not today! With that, we have timers on all their technology. It is a lifesaver. They know when time is up, no my games. Also, Cameron hasn’t even been allowed to play Fortnite in over a month because we felt he wasn’t taking his time with his school work. When you rush with your homework to play Fortnite it is majorly time to take a break. I say all this to say with boys lock down that technology, and know when to take it away all together!
Dream Team Cleaning
I have accepted a long time ago that cleaning the boys bathrooms are gross. There is pee all around the toilet, toothpaste leftover on the sink. They destroy that bathroom. I am not their personal maid, so you know what I did to help keep the bathroom clean? I made cleaning their bathroom part of their chores! Yup! While it typically ends a being all of us cleaning it. The bathroom stays a whole lot cleaner now that they know they have to clean it. Now makes them focus a bit more on where their pee goes!! Ha! It is important to get your boys in the mindset them cleaning is mandatory. I don’t ever want them thinking a women does all the cleaning. The boys have a chore list and know their responsibilities.
Cameron internalizes, he may be really sad about something and won’t ever tell us. With that, we regularly partake in daily check-ins. Helping Cameron know it is always okay to talk and express your emotions. I don’t push things out the more we just talk, the more he will just start sharing. Keep chatting!
Know when to Call Dad
I am intentional with disciplining my boys (when needed) and being their gaming partner. Its easy being a mom to boys to be the outsider or to know be respected. So I keep my boys in check to let them know if when they tower over me I am still the the boss, and know how to have a good time too! However, boys need their dads. That bond cannot be replaced. Moms, I know you can be left out at times. But sit out sometimes and let the boys enjoy time with their fathers.
Boys are so much fun! I honestly think my boys are the funniest people I know. They constantly are doing jokes and making us laugh. Boys like to keep it light!
Raising boys is tough but so much fun! Of course I could have this list be 100+ tips, but wanted to keep it to the tips that are my top ones.
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